The Golden Rule in Today’s Culture

So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.

Matthew 7:12 (NIV)

Responding to my recent blog on Common Courtesy, a friend related to me that she, like her father before her, cheerfully greets strangers in public with enthusiasm. Unlike her father who routinely received a kind response in return, she finds herself more often than not getting strange looks and shocked expressions. It seems that in today’s culture many people don’t know how to respond to a kind word from a total stranger.

Her comments reminded me of one of my favorite subjects – the golden rule. I find it an often misunderstood or misinterpreted scripture, although it always seemed very straightforward to me. In essence, treat people the way you want them to treat you. Like my friend (and her father), we should speak and act kindly to others because we truly want them to speak and act kindly to us in return. Simple.

Now understand that there is no guarantee we will receive equal treatment. (Although being mean and ugly will usually get mean and ugly in return!) The bottom line is that we cannot control the behavior of others. Even when we are positive and friendly, they may very well respond in shock and confusion. They may respond with rudeness. Regardless, we have done our part. And although times have changed and courtesy may not be all that common, many people will still respond in a positive way. And even if they are surprised or shocked, maybe they really needed that kindness from a stranger. We may have just become the brightest moment of their day.

I wonder why so many people read this verse the wrong way. Some people interpret it as if Jesus were giving us a new updated version of the Old Testament “an eye for an eye” rule. They seem to want it to say we can treat other people the same way they treat us, but that’s not what He said. The key to the verse is that we act first. We set the tone. Unlike the Old Testament attitude where we felt justified in treating others kindly or horribly in reaction to their treatment of us, the Golden Rule isn’t about payback. It’s about expectation.

That’s what I really like about this concept. It’s proactive. I choose my words and my actions first. No matter how bad a day the other person may be having, no matter their words or actions, no matter their emotions or their choices or their reactions. None of that matters, because I’m not waiting on them. I’m going first, and I choose kindness. Shouldn’t we all? Isn’t that how we really want people to treat us?

What Ever Happened to Common Courtesy?

Working with the public on a daily basis, I am beginning to wonder if the concept of manners and common courtesy has finally died. Lord knows, if you watch the news, you can clearly see a definite lack of civility. How long until “polite” society completely ceases to exist?

Let me say up front, there are still plenty of nice, polite, well-mannered people around. I see them every single day. Sadly, I encounter the opposite almost daily as well. And sadly, all those good people stand out way too much, because they are no longer the norm.

Most of my adult life was spent in public education. As a teacher, coach, and administrator, I saw more than my share of rude, angry parents. As a parent myself, I could understand the protective nature of the calling, and I was patient enough to let most of them vent until they were able to calmly discuss the matter at hand. Nevertheless, I withstood plenty of nasty personal attacks that went well beyond the normal frustration of believing your child had been treated unfairly.

One of the things that finally convinced me to retire and walk away from the educational profession was the fact that these attacks were becoming more and more frequent. Just as there were always difficult kids, there were always difficult parents, and occasionally teachers, as well. Unfortunately, the longer I stayed in public education, the percentage of both difficult kids and adults grew. When the ugly encounters became the norm, I knew it was time to get out.

Years later, I find myself once again dealing with the public. And once again, I find customer service to be a greatly unappreciated field. The truth is that no matter how nice you are, how accommodating, how eager to please, some people will still just be rude and obnoxious. Sadly, that is our society now.

As I mentioned last week, I place a lot of blame on the mainstream media. For most of the past two years, we have seen a daily public disrespect for the President. And I don’t mean Donald Trump. I mean the very office which should command the respect of each and every citizen of this country. Whether we love or hate the person in office, we should never lose the respect for the authority of the position.

The media has done an equally disturbing hatchet job on many other figures of authority. Consider ICE. Or the American military. Or law enforcement at almost any level. The media and the Liberal Left have undermined the authority of all of these. And individuals who challenge their authority are hailed as heroes and martyrs. Watch the news and see who gets cast as the villain on a daily basis. Or better yet, don’t watch the news.

But as in my school days, I find myself again thinking of the parents out there, because of course, it all starts in the home. Teach your children manners. Teach your children respect. Teach your children to be kind. Maybe then, we can see the return of some good old common courtesy.

The Media’s Love Affair With Hate

Is there anyone in America who doesn’t recognize that the media today is obsessed with the negative? To be fair, much of what passes for news will always be “bad” news, but I’m not talking about the crime reports or the weather. What I’m referring to is the so-called “national news” which in our day and time has become nothing more than political commentary. The mainstream media has turned their unabashed hatred for the President into a daily assault on our very country.

Every day, every story becomes an excuse to criticize Donald Trump. Almost every single mention of his name includes a reminder that he is racist, misogynistic, or worse. And they have long since given up any pretense of actually trying to support any of these allegations. (Or more accurately, not so much allegations as just juvenile attempts at name calling.) He’s a horrible person, we get it. Blah, blah, blah.

Just for the sake of argument, assuming any of the constant insults have any merit, what’s the point? Obviously, the media is tightly bound to the Democratic Party and the Liberal Left, but seriously, what’s the goal here? To make Trump look bad? To make all Republicans or all Conservatives look bad? Because the results are far worse. Almost daily, the media is managing to make our entire country look bad. And I have a problem with that.

My generation grew up learning patriotism (and seeing that as a good thing.) We said the Pledge of Allegiance each morning (and sang America) at my elementary school. We were taught to love our country and be proud of being Americans. Sadly, encouraged by the Left, today’s students are being taught an entirely different view. A recent survey shows this clearly. https://www.dailywire.com/news/38840/nearly-half-young-americans-believe-us-racist-and-joseph-curl?

Young people don’t think America is a great country. They do think it is a racist and sexist country. I don’t think they are getting the same kind of education I got in school. Instead, they get lessons on what a terrible country America has become. And when the evening news comes on, they can get another dose each day. My greatest fear is that we are no longer teaching patriotism and love of country, but rather creating a culture of hatred for ourselves and our nation. And the mainstream media is the leading promoter of this attitude.

Honestly, I wish we could find a way to be more positive. Whether you are a Republican or a Democrat, a Conservative or a Liberal, can we stop with all the negativity and at least try to be more positive? You may hate the whole MAGA thing, but is it really so awful to imagine making our country a better place?

Have I Mentioned That I Hate Editing?

A few weeks ago, I shared my frustrations with the difficulty I was having getting started on my latest work in progress (The New Novel, 4-1-19). Since then, I have found my rhythm and the novel is beginning to take shape. Sincere thanks to those readers who weighed in on the sample openings I provided and helped me determine the best way to start the story. I really appreciate the input!

For the most part, I can write and force my “inner editor” to shut up and stay out of the way. I know that is a blessing. Many writers find their flow constantly interrupted by the need to edit as they go. I do a little as I write, but mostly, I mark words or passages in red (so that I can find them later) and plunge ahead, making a conscious effort to put editing off until another day and time. It works for me.

Of course, it also creates the very problem I am addressing today. My unfinished, unedited, unrevised works are piling up! I desperately need to find the time to go back and work on my previously “completed” works. I have two novels that are finished, in a manner of speaking, and I feel the need to publish again in the next several months. I just can’t seem to make myself commit to the necessary editing and revising that both manuscripts need. Honestly, I would rather keep writing the next story and get it down while the narrative is writing itself in my head.

The obvious solution would be to devote some hours or minutes each day to writing and for editing/revising.  That brings up the other issue, time. When I retired, I found plenty of opportunity to write, but I quickly tired of being broke. Working part-time was not supposed to cut into that time, but it has already made an impact. More than the actual hours, the real problem is the effect that working the graveyard shift has had on my sleep and energy levels. I know, life is tough, wah wah.

So, do I write or do I edit? I suppose my real fear is that if I step back from my current novel, I will lose my sense of the story and it will fall by the wayside. So, I’m torn. Do I keep working on my current masterpiece or put it aside and get serious about preparing the finished works for publication? Any suggestions from my fellow writers?