Adam, the Pencil-necked Boy

(This is a PARODY! Apparently, Adam Schiff is a big fan of parodies, so he should be cool with this one!)

Once upon a time, there was a little boy named Adam who dreamed of being famous. As a child, he loved fairy tales and often made up stories of his own. His favorite literary character was always Pinocchio. To this day, Adam still strives to be like his hero!

Born in Massachusetts, he later moved to California hoping to become a movie star. Blessed with a beautiful slim neck, shaped like a number two pencil, and huge bulging eyeballs, Adam knew he would soon be the nation’s next great heartthrob!

While waiting for his big break, he became an attorney and gained notoriety for prosecuting an FBI agent for spying for the Soviet Union. Even though it took him three trials to get a conviction on a poor helpless slob who had an affair with a Russian (maybe) agent, it soon became his favorite legal strategy – When in doubt, accuse them of being a Russian Spy! https://apnews.com/59774f086411dbd2a5adcd1eaa91ce54

Tiring of legal work, he began pursuing a career in politics. Putting aside his goal of fame and glory, he promptly lost two elections, before finally getting into the California Senate in 1996. Four years later, he was elected into the U.S. House of Representatives where he served in obscurity until the election of Donald Trump as President. (His only claim to fame before that was his appointment, by Nancy Pelosi, to the House Select Committee on Benghazi where they decided, “Nevermind, there’s nothing to see here.”)

Following the election of the bad orange man, Adam embarked on his new career as a political liar extraordinaire. Despite the lack of findings by the investigation of Special Counsel Robert Mueller, he proudly proclaimed that he alone possessed real factual evidence of Russian collusion. When questioned about this evidence, he commented, “No, you can’t see it! It’s a secret.” But of course, he kept talking about it, because he loved being on TV!

Begging his good friend Nancy Pug-uglysi to appoint him to yet another committee, he soon found himself gaining fame as the man who would be king, I mean, the man who would topple the king, I mean, the President. Soon, his big beautiful bug eyes could be seen daily leading the HUGE impeachment investigation. (Except, not that many people were watching because it was boring and General Hospital was on.)

Finally, his time had come! Live on TV, before millions, who weren’t watching their soaps, Adam read the official transcript of the President’s terrible, awful, no good telephone call with Ukraine. He giggled, thinking of all the extra lines of dialogue he had added. This is great, he thought, stretching his neck out proudly and rolling his huge bug eyes. Now, they’ll love me. Hollywood, here I come.

Gracing the cover of newspapers and magazines across the globe, Adam basked in the glory of his triumph! Soon, he would appear before the Senate and once more appear live on television. And this time, he would have hours and hours and hours in which to spread his outrageous lies. He could even go back to his favorite strategy – accuse them all of working with the Russians!

Despite the media proclaiming this the greatest speech since the Sermon on the Mount, Adam continues to be humble. Rumor has it that he will soon be earning millions modeling a new line of turtleneck sweaters. Meanwhile, recordings of his speeches can be purchased at endyourinsomnianow.com.

Martin Luther King Day

I’m old enough to remember when Civil Rights Leaders actually worked to fix the problems of society, unite the citizens of our country, and heal the wounds from previous generations. Today, way too many so-called leaders are doing the opposite. It’s painful to watch and listen to the Liberals who spend all their time and energy looking for different groups they can turn against one another with their divisive identity politics. And it’s sad to see how far we’ve strayed from the ideas presented by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

As for me, I’m still dreaming of that time when all of our children “will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.”

Here’s my previous post in honor of the holiday.

As a teacher, I tried whenever possible to expose my students to things I felt important, things I felt everyone should know, things I feared that many of them had missed somehow along the way. The “I Have a Dream” speech of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. is one of those things. For many years I would play at least a portion for my students as we neared the holiday. There are lines that are familiar to almost everyone, but even those are better heard than read. Surprisingly, a large number of people have never heard it in its entirety.

I don’t have a class or students anymore, so this is for my loyal readers. Whatever you may think about the man personally or in the unfortunate case of many young people today, if you are completely ignorant of the man and his place in our history, let me encourage you to listen to a fantastic speech/sermon/lecture, whatever you want to call it and spend some time thinking about the words which are as relevant today as they were in 1963.

Finding a copy should not be too difficult and it is well worth the time it takes to listen to the entire speech. Here’s a link to a pretty good version. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smEqnnklfYs

Thoughts on an Average Day

I was getting ready for work the other day, rolling up the sleeves of my dress shirt, when it occurred to me that I had done this countless times over the years, always the same, and always exactly the same way my mother had done it when I was a child and she was dressing me for school.

I suppose that at a very young age, I had already determined (for my lifetime forward) that I didn’t really care for long sleeves. I honestly don’t remember why! Maybe they didn’t fit particularly well, they were likely hand-me-downs from my older brother. Maybe I just didn’t care for the restricted feeling of buttoned cuffs. Who knows?

Regardless, for the past fifty years or so, I’ve rarely worn a long-sleeved shirt without rolling up the cuffs, just right, of course, just like my mama did it. The cuff goes back once, then folded in half, then rolled up two more times. Perfect.

The result is a ¾ length that maintains the formality of a long-sleeved dress shirt, yet allows the practicality of a short-sleeved shirt. A good mix between formal and casual and definitely more comfortable.

But most of all, it is a reminder of my mother, and the love and care she put into those simple chores, rituals from a childhood long past. Memories that fade, but never go away.

1984 by George Orwell: Book Review

Every few years, I go back and read again George Orwell’s brilliant novel 1984. It is one of my all-time favorite books and usually holds the top spot on my list! Here are some thoughts after my most recent reading.

I believe there are books that we read and immediately forget. And there are books that we read that make such a profound impact on us that we remember them for the rest of our lives. (I’m not sure exactly why this one has always had such a strong grip on me, or what that says about me personally, but I do love this book!)

I first read 1984 as a high school student and for many decades to follow, I proclaimed it to be the best book I had ever read (followed closely by Brave New World). Despite having read it probably more times than any other novel, it never fails to capture my interest and amaze me with its timeliness. Even today, I want to go and find all the idiots out there touting Socialism and tell them if they really want to understand what they are promoting, they should immediately read this book. It is a truly frightening look at a political system that promises utopia and delivers oppression. And things portrayed in the book are already coming true today!

Written in 1949, the book predicts several things that are apparent in our world today. At the risk of revealing spoilers, here goes.

Socialism is popular. And dangerous. Unless you plan on somehow becoming one of those “Inner Party” members, you can expect to live in a dystopian world where everyone is equally poor and downtrodden. Look at Venezuela or any of the other socialist countries and see how the average citizen is faring. Bernie may proclaim himself to be a Socialist, but I haven’t seen him sharing any of his extra houses or vehicles with those less fortunate folks around him. (Rich socialists are definitely planning to be in the Inner Party. Count on it.) You may end up standing in line for bread and necessities, but don’t expect to see Bernie there!

Big Brother is watching. I won’t even go into the whole Obama administration spying scandal that the media is doing their best to not cover. Let’s just talk about the obvious. There are cameras everywhere. And cell phones. Maybe you still have a little bit of privacy in your home, but who knows? If the President of the United States can be targeted by the government of his own country, then all bets are off. If the FBI can lie to get warrants to spy on the President-Elect, what protections do you think the average citizen has? And how long before those home screens and devices we love become the telescreens of 1984? You know the tech giants are already tracking you all over social media and targeting ads based on your history. Again, Big Brother is watching, and it will only get worse.

The media (The Ministry of Truth) lies to you. On a daily basis. One of the most shocking aspects of the novel is the lengths to which the Party goes to constantly rewrite history. I used to think this was too unbelievable to ever be true, but not anymore. It’s already happening today. The mainstream media is almost totally one-sided in their coverage of current events and openly puts out Fake News. If you don’t believe that the mainstream media is the propaganda wing of the Democratic Party, then you are only fooling yourself! Sadly, as in the book, the majority of citizens today readily accept the facts and figures fed to them and ignore the obvious contradictions before their very eyes.

The Party (the Deep State, the swamp, or whatever you want to call it) will never willingly give up their power. Consider the men and women in Congress who have made a career (30+ years or more) of public service, yet somehow managed to become millionaires. Ever had a job where people lined up to offer you (or your children) money and benefits for your service? Wouldn’t you love to have a job where you could vote to increase your own salary? And of course, you would never have to settle for the universal health care or other benefits provided for the masses.

Don’t make the mistake of thinking 1984 is just an old book written a long time ago about Russia. Read it and think about the world around you today. You might find it current and relevant. And scary.