A Grammar Question (for the Woke Folk)

I was thinking about a blog I wrote a while back, and honestly, I’m still bothered by the whole subject. I called it A Writer's Life: The Death of Pronouns (rdperryauthor.blogspot.com) As a former English teacher, I do take the issue seriously, but I find that no matter how I approach it, I tend to come across as mean or sarcastic. Not intentionally. At least not always.

So, anyway, here goes. I have a question for the woke folk who insist on telling us all how we get to address them (?), and how we should be punished when we get it wrong (which is easy enough to do).

If a (single) person decides to prefer the (plural) pronouns they/them, do the rest of us have to throw out the rules of grammar along with our common sense when speaking to him/her/them? I mean, some of us spent an awful lot of time in school learning this stuff! And now, we’re supposed to just pretend it doesn’t matter anymore?

According to the basic rules of grammar, verbs are supposed to agree with subjects. What if the person is singular, but the pronoun is plural?

Honestly, I don’t even know how I would carry on a normal conversation with someone like that. Take the question below. What would be the grammatically/politically correct usage?

They is an idiot?

Or

They are an idiot?

Is there even a correct answer, or would I be better off just keeping my mouth shut?

Just asking. For a friend.