The Golden Rule in Today’s Culture

So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.

Matthew 7:12 (NIV)

Responding to my recent blog on Common Courtesy, a friend related to me that she, like her father before her, cheerfully greets strangers in public with enthusiasm. Unlike her father who routinely received a kind response in return, she finds herself more often than not getting strange looks and shocked expressions. It seems that in today’s culture many people don’t know how to respond to a kind word from a total stranger.

Her comments reminded me of one of my favorite subjects – the golden rule. I find it an often misunderstood or misinterpreted scripture, although it always seemed very straightforward to me. In essence, treat people the way you want them to treat you. Like my friend (and her father), we should speak and act kindly to others because we truly want them to speak and act kindly to us in return. Simple.

Now understand that there is no guarantee we will receive equal treatment. (Although being mean and ugly will usually get mean and ugly in return!) The bottom line is that we cannot control the behavior of others. Even when we are positive and friendly, they may very well respond in shock and confusion. They may respond with rudeness. Regardless, we have done our part. And although times have changed and courtesy may not be all that common, many people will still respond in a positive way. And even if they are surprised or shocked, maybe they really needed that kindness from a stranger. We may have just become the brightest moment of their day.

I wonder why so many people read this verse the wrong way. Some people interpret it as if Jesus were giving us a new updated version of the Old Testament “an eye for an eye” rule. They seem to want it to say we can treat other people the same way they treat us, but that’s not what He said. The key to the verse is that we act first. We set the tone. Unlike the Old Testament attitude where we felt justified in treating others kindly or horribly in reaction to their treatment of us, the Golden Rule isn’t about payback. It’s about expectation.

That’s what I really like about this concept. It’s proactive. I choose my words and my actions first. No matter how bad a day the other person may be having, no matter their words or actions, no matter their emotions or their choices or their reactions. None of that matters, because I’m not waiting on them. I’m going first, and I choose kindness. Shouldn’t we all? Isn’t that how we really want people to treat us?