When I was a high school English teacher, I can vividly remember teaching grammar (Really!) and the Parts of Speech. When it came to pronouns, I would illustrate their importance by telling a Jack and Jill story without using any pronouns. The story varied with each retelling, because I was deliberately rambling, but it would usually go something like this:
Jack and Jack's friend Jill went walking up a hill. Jack was carrying Jack’s bucket and Jill was carrying Jill's pail. At the well behind Jack and Jill's house, Jack and Jill filled Jack and Jill's buckets with water and then Jack and Jill walked back to Jack and Jill's house. Jack tripped and hurt Jack’s knee. Jill laughed at Jack’s clumsiness, until Jill fell and twisted Jill's ankle. Jack and Jill cried because of the pain caused by Jack and Jill's injuries.
Usually I would keep going until the students began to groan aloud and beg me to stop. The repetition was annoying and the problem was easy to analyze. Together we would fix the story by using the obvious pronouns to avoid using the names over and over. The students knew that we could easily substitute he, his, and him when we were talking about Jack, and she, her, and hers if we were referring to Jill. And if we were talking about both, we could use they, them, or their. Simple right?
Fast forward to today, and I can just imagine how much trouble I would get into for teaching such a politically incorrect lesson. I'd probably get fired! Because in today's society, anyone can pick whatever pronouns they like and the rest of us are supposed to just ignore the absurdity and pretend that such nonsense is normal. Even if it contradicts everything we were taught in school about basic grammar.
True story. I recently read an article about a pop singer
who has decided she is whatever and of course, declared that her preferred
pronouns are They and Them. (You may have to go back and read that again.)
The author, not wanting to offend, wrote the article using those preferred pronouns and the result was
(unintentionally) hilarious. It began like this:
Singer Demi Lovato
has announced that they are
non-binary and are changing their
pronouns to they/them. They said the
"revelation" followed "a lot of healing and self-reflective
work." In a Twitter video early
Wednesday introducing their new
podcast, the pop singer says they
don't identify as male or female.
(Here’s
the full article - Demi
Lovato announces they are non-binary and changing their pronouns - CBS News)
You will probably need to read that one again as well. LOL. It
should come as no surprise that most regular people are tired of this stuff
already. What’s the point of learning correct language skills if any old
celebrity knucklehead (or anyone else) can come along and decide to toss out
the entire concept of proper or standard English. Or worse, make it a criminal
offense to use the wrong pronouns. (DL is not the first, only the most recent,
and this nonsense is becoming more prevalent every day.)
So, what do we do? Some people are choosing to just quit using
pronouns altogether. Take for example, this passage from another recent
article:
Point Park University in
Pittsburgh notified students recently that it will enforce rules against
individuals who do not use their classmates’ preferred pronouns. Students were
informed that using the wrong pronoun was a violation and action would be
taken.
Many faculty members try to avoid using pronouns altogether in
class, rather than look up a student’s designated pronoun. Confirming the right
pronouns can be challenging in the middle of a fast-moving class. Students
today identify from a growing list of gender identities including, but not
limited to, genderfluid, third-gender, amalgagender, demigender, bi-gender,
pansgender, and a-gender. Pronouns can include, but are not limited to: He/She,
They/Them, Ze/Hir (Ze, hir, hirs, hirself), Ze/Zir (Ze, zir, zirs,ze), Spivak
(Ey, em, eir, eirs, ey), Ve (Ve, ver, vis, verself), and Xe (Xe, xem, xyr,
xyrs, xe).
I don’t know about you, but if I heard people using these bizarre
excuses for pronouns, I’d probably think they were speaking a foreign language.
Pig Latin, maybe? The article continues:
Pronouns are fast fading from common discourse under the threat of pronoun
penalties. Not only schools and universities, but cities, too are enforcing
misgendering rules; for example, the New York City Human Rights Law which
allows for fines if employers, landlords, or professionals fail to use a
preferred name, pronoun, or title.
From the artice - What
would Justice Ginsburg say? Her words now part of the fight over pronouns
(vnexplorer.net)
One of the strongest opponents of these ridiculous
rules and laws is Jordan Peterson, a Canadian professor of psychology and
author who has become very popular on YouTube by expressing his views on these
laws and the way they restrict our free speech rights. Check out his website
and this popular video on the subject.
Heated
debate on gender pronouns and free speech in Toronto - Bing video
He clearly points out the real issue. These laws are
designed to compel us to use certain words. And punish us if we refuse to
use the words demanded by others. Think about that. Seriously.
In this age of government overreach, we’re supposed
to let politicians decide not only what we can’t say, but now they also get to
decide what words we are required to
say? And if we don’t, then they can decide how to punish us for such crimes. Maybe if we accidentally slip,
we’ll get ostracized or mildly reprimanded. Unless they decide that it was
intentional, in which case we get fired or cancelled altogether.
Or we just stop using pronouns and let them die. Of
course, we will sound like idiots when our conversations all start to look like
the Jack and Jill story above, but I suppose that’s better than ending up in
Grammar Prison. Sadly, we lose either way.
As always, have a great week, and let me know your
thoughts!
